Saturday, June 6, 2015

The Final Frontier

There has been a post circulating on Facebook--25 things to do in Birmingham for FREE. Well, my friends, we took that as a personal challenge in Johnsonville. This is a quest. A great guided tour of Alabama where we intend to do not only all of the free things but all of the cheap ones too (because who are we kidding--if you have five kids and a Nana who lives with you, you are BROKE, Jack). And we aren't limiting ourselves to Birmingham either, Neighbors. We are going south and north and all directions. Why? Because we can. 

Our Cast of Characters on the Mission:

Little Flower and Mother Bear

The Mother Bear (40-something year old mother of five, English teacher, living the rural dream) Really, that's enough, isn't it?

Big E
Big E (part of the dynamic duo known as the Wonder twins. 15 year old female who will be the ringmaster of fun). She's bringing the party, dj-ing the set list in her special OCD ADD way, making friends with every stranger we encounter, and yelling at random people we encounter on the road.


Naynuh (second half of the Wonder Twins or E-Squared. 15 year old female who will be the voice of reason). She's carrying a backpack full of stuff we don't need including various novels, photos, heel pads, and a map of someplace foreign she hopes to go one day.

Sister (16 year old who wandered into my house and never left who will laugh at us when we fall down in public) She's the only kid in the house with an international stamp in her passport. We're counting on her to be the blonde everywhere we go (since she's the only blonde). She may or may not be performing various stunts of daring on our adventures. She's like that when the mood strikes her.

No. 1 Son

The Number One Son (Only boy, namesake, heir apparent, 12 year old who will be the daredevil). We will photograph him doing numerous stupid, dangerous things on the road, because he's the only one idiotic enough to actually try them. You'll recognize me, because I'll be running around after him screaming helpful things like, "PUT THE HELMET ON! DON'T LEAP FROM THERE! NO YOU CAN'T BASE JUMP!"

Little Flower
The Little Flower (11 year old bizarre baby girl with wicked bad artist skillz who will refuse to get out of the vehicle or be in any photographs). She has told us that it's her dream to own an RV as her first car so that she never has to leave her house to go places. She'll be the voice asking if we can please go home now every ten minutes.

The Husband
The Husband (The man. the legend. The Father. The Husband. Get-away driver. He has a badge and one bullet.) He won't make all of the adventures (since he actually has to like work and stuff), but he's planning on playing as much as possible while we are out on summer break. I'm mostly bringing him along so we can embarrass the Shorties by making out in public as often as possible. (Hey, after 21 years you've got to search for ways to keep it fresh.)

 Featuring an assorted cast of friends and neighbors stupid, er, daring enough to get into the Family Truckster and roll with us into the wild, blue yonder.

On the Road again